Four O’Clock in The Morning

We've arrived. And we have pictures, though we've left them back at the Garnish B&B, so we'll have to add them tomorrow.

The plane ride was every bit as brutal and unforgiving as we'd feared, seeing as how we taxied in Chicago for an hour before take-off. With the time change, we left Chicago at six pm and landed at Shannon at 11am, so factoring in the seven hour time difference, the plane ride was... really long.

I was partly right on with the in-flight entertainment, as weird and unfunny British sitcoms were featured, as was Everybody Loves Raymond. I switched seats away from Al and Mike because two young parents wanted to sit together with their child, and because the stewardess claimed she'd make it worth my while. My reward was a small tin of Pringles and a smaller bottle of champagne. Potato chips and sweet, bubbly wine: Aer Lingus does it up right.

We decided to go without sleep, though both Al and I have had Kramer-naps. Mike, being only partially human, dares to drive on the left without a lick of sleep in the past 30 hours. His accuracy rate for driving on the left hovers at 89%. Sorry, town of Limerick!

Imelda Marcos Award for over-packing: Al, who brought multiple pairs of shoes. We're not certain yet how many of them are high-heeled.

Mike's Insane Quote of the Day: (in regards to an orange berry on a plate of scones) "That's a Japanese lantern! No, wait -- it's a tomatillo. "

Al's Obscure 80's Reference of the Day: "We're using knives and swords like the Krays!"

Round Round-up:

• 3 pre-check-in at O'Hare
• 2 post-check-in at O'Hare
• 1 mid-flight
• 1 Durty Nellie's in Bunratty -- spelling will be corrected later. (I'm calling you out, Denise!)
• 2 Thirsty Scholar in Cork city

(All rounds current to 12:51pm 3/31/06 Milwaukee time.)

More tomorrow. All in color!

House of the Gods

In needin' to test our newly-acquired whale-catchin' equipment for our journey out of auld Bay Naragansett, we stopped at the local at the docks to face our demons wi' wet constitutions.

At left: Brian and Al practicing for Ireland at Hooligan's on 28 March. Brian practicing Euro-style date and time format.

[Hint: Click on pictures for larger version.]

Transmetropolitan

Sez Ground Control to Major Tom: Commencing countdown, engines on.

48 Hours from now we'll be at the Chicago airport, and 60 hours from now we'll be in County Limerick, yeah?

My guesses for the official in-flight entertainment on Aer Lingus:
-- 2 episodes of "Everybody Loves Raymond"
-- Memoirs of a Geisha
-- 2 episodes of a BBC sitcom that will involve antiques, a maid costume, or trains.

On a scale of 1 to 10, my delight in saying "Aer Lingus": Friggin' eleven!

A few things that rhyme (or nearly rhyme) with "Aer Lingus" that do not violate decency guidelines:

1. Aengus (or Angus or Oengus) -- Celtic love god.
2. Mundungus -- foul-smelling tobacco.
3. Dendrolagus -- tree kangaroo.
4. Dingus Day -- Polish tradition on Easter Monday, still observed in Buffalo, in which men chase women with buckets of water while the women whip them with switches.
5. Spatangus -- a heart-shaped sea urchin.
6. Thaumaturgus -- a Roman Catholic miracle worker.
7. Charles Mingus -- jazz bassist/pianist.
8. Xiphopagus -- congenitally-joined twins.

As Dave Barry used to say: I am not making this up.

"Four, three, two, one..."

Tosspint

Happy St. Patrick's Day, compatriots.

Greenland Whale Fisheries

There's an article concerning absinthe in the March 13th, 2006 New Yorker. In it, the writer Jack Turner, author of Spice: The History of a Temptation (which I presume concerns the salt-and-pepper-and-nutmeg type of spice, as opposed to pay-per-view porn), hangs around with a guy from New Orleans who is attempting to distill and create "authentic" absinthe in France.

The suggestion is made in the article that the public outrage against absinthe in the later half of the 19th century had more to do with a limited understanding of alcoholism at the time. That is, that absinthe (more so than other alcohols, like amaretto or wine) was seen as the cause or source of what might be more rightly attributed to symptoms of alcoholism -- dementia, tremors, etc. (This raises the possibility that all of the drum-beating for Temperance and, ultimately, Prohibition in this country was due to seeing alcohol itself as the root source of alcoholism as opposed to the understanding we tend to have today, that alcohol dependency is rooted -- at least in part -- in the person. ) Turner raises the possibility that absinthe is no more or less harmful than other liquors.

So what about the wormwood and the thujone?
Thujone is a chemical structure within wormwood which has been thought to give absinthe its rumored psycho-active effects. The fellow whom Turner follows -- I would give his name but I don't have the article at hand -- says that as he became more interested in absinthe he did chemical analysis on some hard-to-find pre-ban absinthe -- i.e., absinthe that was produced before nearly-worldwide bans on it in the 1910's -- and found no evidence of thujone. In his own distilling of absinthe, thujone did not distill into the liquor but was left in the pot with all of the wormwood, additives, etc.

Turner's subject implies that most absinthe currently produced includes thujone as an additive, rather than as a product of distillation and that the "real" absinthe which Tolousse-Latrec fed his parrot, and which Hemingway sipped in Paris, wouldn't have had any thujone in it.

Repeal of The Licensing Laws

Well, Qanimaliqpunga 2006 has come and gone, and with it the first weekend of March. Like the month of March itself, Qanimaliqpunga creeps in like a mouse and goes out like some sort of horrible vomiting lion. It's too early, of course, to assess the relative success or failure of this year's event, but given that it's two days later and everyone is still a little sick, signs point towards "rousing success." I know the combination ice cream headache/sucrose overdose/martini buzz was far different from the effects I felt after the second day of the 2005 event.

The 2006 Malibu Rum 'Qpungie Awards

• The University of Lawsonomy Award for the Strong Start: Jon, who drank five girl drinks in half an hour.
• The Tonya Harding Award for Good Sportsmanship: Al, who graciously allowed me to "win" the competition.
• The Full Metal Jacket Award for the Apt Analogy: Mick, who proclaimed that the Bahama Mama "tastes like bananas and ass."
• The Kathy Bates in Misery Award for Team Spirit: Robin, Kirsten, and Erin, who failed to stop any of this.
• The Good Alibi Award for Common Sense and Avoidance: Audrey

Ultimately, to paraphrase a poor-taste internet quip, finishing Qanimaliqpunga is like competing in the Special Olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded.

Useful Inuktitut phrases in the wake of Qanimaliqpunga:

Taqqavunga: "I have had enough of whatever we are doing"
Naanguvunga: "I have a pain in my belly"
Angirraqsiqpunga: "I want to go home"
Avinganik takujumavunga: "I want to see lemmings"
Qimmit patamajugungnarpara?: "Is it OK to touch or slap your dogs?"
Qanapavqiqissa: "If it's not too much trouble, please assure that the bartender has included pineapple juice in the Mai Tai cocktail I am being forced to drink"(*)

You know, early March is probably the wrong time to swear off green-colored booze.

Coming later this year: Beer Bingo! Coming later this month: OMG! Ireland! WTF? Coming later today: My 2006 Oscar predictions!

(*) I made this up.